I’ve had an amazing number of letters responding to my recent newsletter on the crisis in Russian adoptions. As I’ve written back sometimes, it’s a blessing that God is bringing these issues to the surface so that His Body can cry out for a breakthrough.
Here is one of these letters, which I thought I would post, since it is from a family who actually adopted from the very orphanage that is near our apartment, where we all (especially Diana) have volunteered.
Thank you so much for writing these insights and your progress, as we so much appreciate it. We continue to pray for you. We, like so many, adopted our daughter from Orphanage 46 ten years ago. Sadly we have had the same issues and all the adoptive parents from our church have experienced similar issues. Ours recently ended with our daughter running away on her 18th birthday, just 7 weeks ago. We showered her with Godly love, with many late nights of crying and instruction, and many attempts toward Godly counseling. Our family was subjected to her daily lies, deceit, and she was more than just a strong willed child. We observed many dangerous and destructive behaviors. The sneaking around on the internet (outside of our home) and what she did on it was the biggest struggle. She could be anyone she wanted and seek attention. We love her so much, but now she is in a situation where the people she is staying with do not understand her behaviors, her distructive tendancies, and the daily communication and accountability she needs. Please pray for us. The terrible lies, the pictures we see of her that are not even close to being appropriate, and the many things she has done….is not nearly as hurtful as her comments such as, “It’s okay they are not my real parents anyway…and I never really loved them anyways.” We know God has a plan for our daughter, but we are struggling to see his purpose right now, as we believe she is in a unsafe situation, but the people she is staying with have cut off all communication with us. We are praying for her safety, that God would reveal Himself to her, and would show her the love that she needs so desparately in her life. Although there were so many ups and downs over the past 10 years with our daughter, we truly continue to love her. Please pray for her, us, and we will continue praying for your ministry and that the bondage of sin on these children will be broken.
If that doesn’t motivate us to press on, then I don’t know what will.
One thought on “A local adoption woe”
I suppose the answer is being as careful about which children are being adopted as they are about which parents are doing the adopting. So much effort to analyze parents, and their personalities and behaviors and personl histories and ways of being….but usually little energy spent at all in discerning which children are good candidates for adoption, and will be able to take advantage of this opportunity. We were blessed to adopt, four times, with the help of a woman who took these things into consideration – and from a region (Ivanovo) where at least a few years ago – adoption was considered a good thing for children….and the best and brightest children were given this opportunity.Our four children, all from different family situations (two are half-siblings, but grew up with different parents) are pretty well balanced – as well balanced and mentally healthy as their American born peers, in any case. Two of them, in particular, are cut from the same mold as our biological children – naturally cheerful, resiliant, generous, gentle, sweet-tempered. I cannot imagine dearer children. Thus, my sorrow at all of this "bad publicity" for adoption. But, I can't blame the people whose lives are turned upside down by seriously disturbed children. Perhaps greater understanding of the conditions and traumas that impact children in such a way as to leave them unable to love and grow in healthy ways will allow better matching of children to families.